Stop Eating Your Heart Out
by Mindy35
Summary: CASKETT. Castle approaches Beckett for help on a personal matter. They end up sparring.


Title: Stop Eating Your Heart Out

Author: mindy35

Rating: K+, adult themes

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made.

Spoilers: minor, "Pandora".

Pairing: Castle/Beckett

Summary: Castle approaches Beckett for help on a personal matter, they end up sparring.

A/N: No offense meant to the gorgeous Nathan Fillion who is super hot, if you ask me.

-x-x-x-

Castle approached her with caution, alerting her to his presence with a hesitant: "Hey."

Beckett landed a final, forceful kick to the punching bag then whipped round to face him, bouncing on her toes. "Hey. What're you doin' here so early?"

"I, ah…wanted to talk to you about something," he said, taking a step closer.

She gave a small smile, her breath coming in sharp puffs. "You have one of your brilliant breakthroughs about the Keddie case?"

"No. This is a personal issue." He circled the punching bag, taking a seat on the bench by her gym bag. "But it can wait. Til you're done."

"Actually, I prefer working out without an audience." Using her teeth to tear open one boxing glove, Beckett moved to the bench too. She discarded both gloves then plucked a towel from her bag and began mopping the sheen from her brow, neck and breast. "So, what's up?"

Castle watched her a moment then cleared his throat. "It's…delicate."

She slung the towel round her neck, brows crumpling. "Delicate how?"

"I want your help with something. But you can't laugh or tease me or get that twinkly-eyed look you're getting right now." He circled a finger at her face, his fixed in an uncharacteristically stern frown.

Beckett ducked her head, blinking away the twinkle in her eyes. "Okaaay. Why don't you tell me what this is about?"

"Don't laugh at me."

"I'm not gonna laugh."

"Well…lately…" he shifted in his seat, eyes dropping to the floor, "I've been…noticing some changes."

"Menopause, Castle?"

His head snapped up, he stood abruptly, jaw set and mouth clamped shut.

"I'm sorry!" she immediately backpedaled, releasing an accidental laugh. "Really, I am, it just came out before I could help it." She took a seat on the bench, peering up at his closed-down face. "But I'm listening, I am. So tell me – what kind of changes?"

His head hung as he mumbled to the mat underfoot, "What d'you care?"

"I care, Castle." She grabbed his wrist, pulled him back down to the bench. "Sit down and talk to me."

He complied, leaning back against the wall with a sigh. "Maybe I'm just getting old."

"Happens to the best of us," she murmured, eyes on his face.

"I s'pose." He was silent for a long moment before taking a breath and saying, "But my mother thinks…"

Beckett waited for more, raised her brows. "Your mother thinks…?"

"Last night, she told me…she thinks that I…"

"She thinks that you…?"

Castle gave up trying to phrase his predicament delicately and instead blurted out: "She called me a fatty! Right to my face! She said that I— and I need to….you know—" He waved a hand over himself, gesturing vaguely at his own bulk.

Stifling even the slightest twinge of a smile, Beckett gave a non-committal shrug. "And what do you think?"

He glanced across at her, pursing his lips before admitting, "I think that…I'm not so good at keeping up with you at crime scenes."

She smiled. "You do okay."

"And when I look in the mirror," he shook his head in dismay, "I'm not the same ruggedly handsome hunk I used to be."

"You're doing okay on that front too," she said, voice a little softer.

He sent her a small smirk. "Oh yeah?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "From my perspective anyway."

"Where I have to concede her point though," Castle went on, forehead creasing with confusion, "is that I just can't seem to stop eating. I've always _liked _food but I saw it as fuel, a fleeting requirement and nothing more. These days though, no matter how much I eat, I'm always hungry and I don't understand why."

"Well," she turned towards him on the bench, "maybe we can figure it out together."

He turned towards her, a slightly bemused smile on his lips. "I feel like I'm on an episode of _Oprah_. Do I get a gift certificate for a day spa after this?"

"No. And you won't get a new car either. Not that you need one."

"Just to be allowed to drive once in a while would be prize enough..."

Beckett ignored his muffled jibe; she was already mentally building theory. "So, let's think about this logically. Why do people eat?"

Castle shot her a wide-eyed, ain't-it-obvious look. "Uh. Because they're hungry."

"Exactly," she nodded, giving his knee a pat then waving her hand through the air. "They eat to feel nourished, to feel fulfilled, yes? So, if you are eating more than usual, then in what aspect of your life do you feel undernourished, unfulfilled? Where are you empty, Castle?"

Castle just blinked at her, expression incredulous. "…Really? You want me to…"

"Just go with it, Castle. I've had this conversation with a dozen girlfriends—"

"I'm not a girl, Beckett. I'm not some ditz trying to drop a few pounds to fit into her bridesmaid dress."

"I realize that. But the solution to this problem, as in any murder investigation, is rarely as simple as you think. So." She sat a little straighter, shot him an expectant look. "How's work?"

"Fine," he shrugged. "Great, in fact. The next Nikki Heat book is practically ready to hit shelves. I'm happy with it, the publishers are _really_ happy with it." He paused to give her a secretive half-smile. "_You_ are gonna _love_ this one."

She dipped her chin. "I look forward to reading it."

"In your bath," he murmured, voice sly and lips curling upwards. "Steeped in bubbles. Surrounded by scented candles. With your favorite red wine at the ready."

Beckett rolled her eyes, muttering dryly, "Alright, so you know my ritual. Good for you. Back to the point." She folded one leg on the bench, tucking her foot under the opposite knee. "What about your home life then? Any glaring holes there?"

Castle considered this but answered, "No. I mean…a little anxiety about Alexis' new career path but I've gotten used to a constant low-level anxiety over the years, it's just part of being a parent. As for holes…I'd say that my family is rather too present than not."

"Hm. Well…" she lifted her brows and tutted, "that just leaves the big one."

"Which is?"

"Sex and relationships."

"Now, _there_ is a hole," he answered immediately, eyes wide. "A huge, hungry black hole. A great, gaping chasm of unfulfilled need."

Beckett rose from the bench, throwing her towel into her bag. "Okay, I get the picture."

"But come on," Castle looked up at her from beneath his brows, his face exhibiting an unusual degree of skepticism, "do you seriously think I'm eating pasta for breakfast and whipped cream for dinner and half a dozen donuts in between just because I feel unfulfilled in my sexlife?"

"_That _is for you to answer," she replied, facing him, one hand propped on her hip. "What I can provide, if you're up for it, is some moral support. I'm happy to offer my services as a training buddy. Think of me as your own personal cheerleader—"

Castle gave a little hum. "I like that image…"

Her eyes rolled. "Without the short skirt, Castle."

"Oh."

"Or the pompoms."

"Oh. Disappointing…"

"All I'm offering here is good old-fashioned exercise, guaranteed to get your yah-yahs out. Starting tomorrow." She picked up her gym bag, flung it over her shoulder. "You in?"

Castle stood, nodded once. "I'm in."

"Good," she nodded back. "We start at seven—"

His enthusiasm dissipated. _"Seven_?"

Beckett shot him a narrow-eyed look.

"Seven is good," he amended, quickly, lightly. "Seven's perfect…"

She set off across the gym, her stride even and purposeful. "First, we run."

"Running is easy," Castle muttered, trotting after her, "running I can do."

"Then we'll do some conditioning."

"Not entirely sure what that is but I trust you."

She waved a hand at a bench-press as they passed. "Followed by some weights."

"Yeah…" Castle brushed her arm with his fingers, causing her to stop and face him. "I should probably warn you right up front that when it comes to athletics of any kind, I can be a bit clumsy. But don't worry—" he lifted a hand, hastening to add, "I tend to injure myself, not others."

"I'll consider myself forewarned," she muttered, a sardonic smile twisting her lips. "Because to finish, I will teach you the basics of sparring."

"Whoa…!" Castle rushed after her as she headed for the female locker room. "I don't think I could ever…_hit_ a woman."

"I am not a woman in this scenario, Castle, I am your opponent."

"Even so, trying to harm you in any way…it goes against my own personal code. And you know how I feel about personal codes."

Beckett stopped on the threshold of the locker room, looking highly amused by his gallantry. "That's real sweet, Castle, but I wouldn't worry. I doubt you'll get a single shot in." Eyes a-twinkle, she gave his bicep a quick pat then disappeared inside the locker room to shower and change.

-x-

Three weeks later, during their now regular morning training session, Castle succeeded in pinning Beckett to the mat for the first time ever. One slim, wily leg tried its best to squirm out from under him and gain the advantage but he trapped it with his knee, causing a half-frustrated, half-exhausted grunt to emanate from his opponent's lips. Beckett's body slumped on the mat, either admitting defeat or only appearing to as she stealthily regrouped before her next devastating move.

In the three weeks they'd been training buddies, sparring had become the main component of their workout, the one facet they never skipped. Both were initially surprised by how well Castle picked up on the training she offered. From his first session – after she'd convinced, cajoled and eventually goaded him into launching an attack on her – sparring with Beckett seemed to come naturally to Castle. It was almost like he'd been doing it for years. Which, in a way, he had. He'd trained himself to watch her, to anticipate her. And now, he knew her. Better than any opponent she'd ever faced. And that made him her biggest challenge.

Adjusting his position on top of her, Castle smiled down at Beckett's sweaty, ruddy face. "You were right," he told her in a deliberately laidback voice, even as his chest puffed with exertion and his hands maintained their guarded grip on her limbs. "This is exactly what I needed. Good old-fashioned exercise. All those yah-yahs are dissipating before my eyes. I feel very motivated right now. Very…empowered."

Beckett laughed beneath him, a smug, throaty, womanly laugh. Then she pinned his eyes, looking much more assured than a person in her vulnerable position should look. "Well, enjoy the feeling, Castle. Cos it's about to end—"

An instant and a flurry of swift, skilled movement later, Castle was on his back, the breath knocked out of him and his arm twisted at an uncomfortable angle as Beckett straddled his dazed body. As much as he'd been relishing their previous position and his moment of short-lived triumph, Castle couldn't really find much to complain about in this new position. Or any position she managed to contort him into with her clever, capable hands. It was one of the perks of sparring with Kate Beckett. Even when he lost – which was the majority of the time – he still won. Even face down on the mat, body aching and ego in shreds, he would never have wished himself anywhere else.

There were other perks too – apart from the secret thrill he got from learning how Kate Beckett's body felt and moved and reacted under his hands. One other perk being that, after their sessions together, no matter how many donuts Esposito devoured in front of him, Castle just was not hungry. What's more, never in his life had he bounded out of bed more eagerly than he had in the past three weeks, ignoring the creaking and complaining of his sore muscles and weary bones. The sad truth was, he was getting older. He may never be as ruggedly handsome as his younger self and there was little to be done but accept that. But maybe Beckett was right too. Maybe together they'd stumbled upon a short-term fix for that bottomless hole he'd been futilely filling with food. If so, then Castle felt certain that each day he spent with Kate Beckett – working with her, writing her, sparring with her, verbally and otherwise – he came one silent but significant step closer to uncovering a long-term solution to his deep-seated, heartfelt hunger.

As suddenly as she'd pinned him, Beckett released him, letting his twisted arm drop to the mat with a deadened thump. For a moment, she remained perched on top of him, breathing heavily. "I had you," she said, grinning victoriously as she wiped some sweat off her brow with the back of her arm.

Castle just panted beneath her, boneless and spent. With the last of his energy, he managed to shoot her a weak smile and reply, "Let's face it, Beckett. You had me before we even began."

"Come on—" She hauled herself off him, a low involuntary groan betraying just how good a match he'd given her. She straightened slowly, one hand resting on her lower back as she held the other out to him. "Enough playin' around. We've got real work to do."

Castle took her hand and let her help him to his feet, a much louder and more tortured groan issuing forth from his bigger body. He chuckled morbidly as they hobbled off the mat together towards the locker rooms.

"Y'okay there?" Beckett murmured, eying the slight limp in his step.

"Totally." Castle nodded bravely but put a little more into the limp, letting his face contort in silent pain.

If he made it really convincing, there was a chance she'd rub his ankle with lineament as she had the previous week when she got a little too rough with him. Instead of offering to do so, Beckett just shifted closer to his side, placing a tentative but strong arm round his waist and lifting one of his to rest across her shoulders. She didn't say another word and neither did he. They just made their way across the deserted gym, nice and slow, her smaller frame sharing the burden of his weight. Only when they reached the twin doors of the locker rooms did Castle thank her for the assist, their arms dropping to their sides as they went their separate ways.

_END._


End file.
